Paranoia XP Flavour Text – Decantation Orientation Briefing

Do not be alarmed Citizen. This is the voice of Friend Computer.

Your allotted gestation and tank-based education period has been completed. Based on your conditioning programme, you have been assigned CLEARANCE: RED. In accordance with mental and physical aptitude testing, you are mandated to report to [REDACTED] in the [CLEARANCE: BLUE] Service Firm for work assignment.

Please remain calm. The cold, dry sensation you are feeling is your first exposure of atmosphere of AlphaComplex. Please be aware that there is high probability of initial breathing problems. These will resolve themselves in two to three minutes, with a [REDACTED].3% survival rate.

In the event of a swelling sensation in the stomach, spleen or eyeballs, please inform Friend Computer immediately. This is a symptom of Critical Decantation Failure, which affects [REDACTED]% of all Decantations. Friend Computer apologises for any inconvenience caused by massive internal haemorrhaging, explosion of the optic nerves and cerebral bleeding. Please rest assured that you will continue to serve AlphaComplex through the reprocessing of your biomatter.

Once you have recovered, please read and listen to Official Welcome to AlphaComplex Message as Friend Computer assesses your sensory responsiveness.

The year is currently [DATABASE ERROR: INVALID QUANTITY].

You and your colleges have been grown in AlphaComplex in order to [CLEARANCE: REDACTED]. All the knowledge you require to accomplish this task has been imparted during your growth and education cycle. It is now time to put that knowledge to use to ensure the survival of [REDACTED] and Alpha Complex. Until such time as the [FILE CORRUPTED - REPAIRS UNSUCCESSFUL. SUBSTITUTION BEGINS] Communist Tratiors [SUBSTITUTION ENDS] have ceased to be a threat to [SUBSTITUTION BEGINS] FRIEND COMPUTER [SUBSTITUTION ENDS], your mission will continue. It is estimated that this will not occur until at least [CLEARANCE: NO SUCH CLEARANCE FOUND]. Until then, trust in Friend Computer. [REDACTED] bless and protect you.

Signed,

[FILE CORRUPTED. REPAIR UNSUCCESSFUL.]

Your sensory apparatus is functioning within 95% of expected parameters. On exiting the tank, you will find you find the following:

  • 3 Jumpsuits, Standard Issue, CLEARANCE RED
  • 1 Boot, Left, CLEARANCE RED
  • 1 Boot, Right, CLEARANCE RED
  • 1 Utility Belt, Standard Issue ‘Citizen Grade’
  • 1 Personal Communication Device (PDC) 2400 ‘eyePhone’, CLEARANCE RED
  • 1 Credit Slip

Friend Computer has assigned you 1000 credits as a Decantation present.

Friend Computer has assigned you a bed in Sector 7R – Dormitory 85-RX.

Friend Computer has deducted 1000 credits from your account to cover rent and food expenses. Further payments of 1000 credits will be deducted every 30 days.

Please report to your assigned Service Firm. Failure to do so within 30 minutes may result in the docking of credits, forced overtime, demotion or termination.

Friend Computer is watching you.

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On The Move Again…

This time last year, I wrote about moving from Glasgow to Edinburgh, and having to travel to carry on playing with my gaming group.

That all worked out rather well. I started off only playing in one game (the now defunct Rouge Trader campaign). I now go through to Glasgow every Tuesday and I’m theoretically playing in two games, although there are currently problems with one of games due to overlapping holidays.

Times and situations have changed once again. As of September 3rd, I’m going to be living in Brussels, capital of Belgium and de-facto capital of the European Union. This is an amazing opportunity, since I’ll be interning for an MEP in the European Parliament, the only directly elected institution of the EU for four months. During this time, I’ll also be completing my dissertation, in surroundings which should more then complement it’s nationalism themes.

The downside – possibly the only downside – is that commuting across the North Sea to game is utterly impossible for anyone who’s not a multi-millionaire, which I am most certainly not. So, between lack of time, being away from my gaming group and my lack of both French and Flemish, I won’t be gaming for some time.

There is the option of gaming online, but I don’t know anyone who is running a voice/video-based campaign in Europe friendly time-zones and I’m not too keen in seeking out a text-based campaign on RPGNet or other sites due to being an infrequent and unknown user of such sites. Running an online, forum-based campaign myself is a tempting option, but between work and dissertation, I don’t think I’d have the time.

Hopefully, come 2011 I’ll be able to move on from this to a similar job which also allows me to carry on gaming. I certainly hope so, although I do worry that I’m reaching a point where gaming with my friends is going to become much more difficult.

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Recommend Me Comics!

I mentioned recently that I was running a superhero campaign with Truth & Justice. I have one major problem when it comes to this campaign, which I don’t have when I write post-apocalypse, high fantasy or historic games – I don’t actually know very much about superheroes or comic books. In short, I need more inspiration, because my normal diet of science fiction, fantasy, politics and history books just aren’t providing it.

Growing up in a small village in the middle of nowhere, there wasn’t really much exposure to that most quintessential of American entertainments. It was only when I was 15 or 16 that I became aware of comics at all, and by that time I had other things on my mind. Of course, I did get some exposure to superheroes thanks to cartoon versions of Spiderman, Iron Man, the Fantastic Four, X-Men, the Incredible Hulk and the noir-style Batman, but these didn’t exactly dwell on the moral issues which add depth to both comic books and RPG campaigns.

By the time I moved to Glasgow – which has at least three comic shops – I was too overwhelmed by the sheer number of comics and the various serials which run in parallel to each other, so I never got into any of them. Even as far as graphic novels go, all I’ve bought are V for Vendetta, Watchmen (both before I saw their respective films), The Dark Knight Returns and the Dark Knight Strikes Back. Admittedly, the number of superhero movies coming out has increased, but given how many of these have been a bit rubbish, I’m not desperate to look to them for inspiration.

Whats really changed things for me now is the introduction of the Comic app (iTunes Link) for iPhone and iPad. No standing awkwardly trying to find the start of a storyline as a dozen others do the same thing around you, no plastic sleeves, no glaring comic book store guy,  just instant comics for £1.19 an issue. The downside is there is no physical copy and no investment, but I’m not sure I can see myself being a comic collector without becoming obsessive about it. I’ve already bought and read the Marvel Civil War series and the preview of the new Wonder Woman series (which I have every intention of continuing to buy).

But, dear RPG Bloggers, I’m browsing these online comics without aim. I need some guidance. I’m asking for some comic recommendations. If they involve gritty plots, first-string superheroes, real world levels of technology and avoid the baddy of the week cliche, that’s all the better, although I’m open to suggestions (within reason).

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Character Profile – Uther ‘Halbarsch’ Utherson

Uther Utherson was the bastard son of a camp follower and a solider of the Dwarven Fifth Legion. He was born in the Dwarven Quarter of Middenheim on an unknown date under the Two Bullocks, roughly 55 years ago. Uther doesn’t celebrate his birthday or speak about his family.

Uther worked as a camp errand boy until he was old enough to enlist as a common foot soldier. Over 35 years, he sought to prove both his honour and combat ability, eventually joining the ranks of the Shieldbreakers, the elite guard of the Dwarven clans. It was this which gave Uther the chance to experience the culture of the Empire first hand, when he was posted to Middenheim as part of an escort guard for the Great West Road. This duty saw Uther and several others escorting valuable cargo, Runebearers and Dwarf dignitaries to and from various locations along the road, often assisting the Road Wardens of the Empire or drinking with local guards when not required. Many of the Dwarves befriended the road men, who’s surly demeanour sat well with the equally surly warriors. It was here Uther acquired his nickname, on account of at 5 feet tall, being tall for a Dwarf, and met Kasper several times.

The closure of the Great West Road saw 20 Shieldbreakers, including Uther left without a pay check or anything to do, much to the despair of the publicans of Middenheim, who were faced with the prospect of having to refuse credit to vicious killers who had axes hefted at groin height. In order to prevent any unpleasantness, the garrison commander in Middenheim ordered the various unemployed Shieldbreakers to take extended leave until such time as they are called upon or the road reopens.

In the particular case of Uther, this means seeking some adventure out past Ferlanghan, having heard from a bloke in a pub about some kind of military build up in the area. A consummate soldier and lover of gold who’d recently lost his pay check, Uther couldn’t pass such an opportunity up. He’s also heard stories about a Middenheim Roadwarden who was heading in the same direction…

Appearance

Standing at 5 foot tall, Uther is tall for a Dwarf. In other respects, he’s fairly typical, sporting a big, bushy beard and long brown hair. He also has a large and many times broken nose. As a profession soldier, he is generally loath to part with his mail coat, axe and shield, all of which are now rather rusty after a winter spent on the Kislev border.

Personality

Like most of his kinsmen, Uther can seem gruff, blunt and grumpy to humans. The life of a professional soldier has not softened those traits in Uther and has only intensified his racial hatred of Greenskins and his desire to see honour fulfilled.
Uther pays regular fealty to Grimnir and Sigmar, as befitting a Dwarven warrior. He knows that when honourable battle comes, they will protect him no matter what he’s fighting.
Interestingly, Uther sees no honour in drinking to the extent that he loses control of his facilities and has a no nonsense attitude towards drunks. He’s also not predisposed towards frivolous entertainment and the creative arts, preferring to see the artistry in military tactics or a well-crafted weapon. He dabbles in the forge arts.

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This is the background for my current Warhammer Fantasy RP character. It was written based on the two or three paragraphs which serve as background to the Dwarven race in the WFRP 2nd edition rulebook, so I think I managed to make a pretty good job of coming up with something which fits in with the Warhammer attitude to Dwarfs.

I’m also looking forward to the challenge of roleplaying this character. Playing a surly character who’s likely to constantly draw racist comments from NPCs (and some party members) seems like it could be fun. We’ll have to see if I have the same attitude in a few months time.

Posted in Fluff/Inspiration, RPG Bloggers, WFRP 2nd Ed | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

What’s In A Pound-o-Dice?

The Chessex Pound-o-Dice seems to be quite common in the States, judging from posts on the RPG Bloggers network. In Europe, it’s a significantly rarer creature, with few retailers stocking them. Some games shops don’t even stock brand name dice such as Chessex, and there is little chance of seeing brands such as Gamescience over here unless you order them from America.

That said, eBay makes the world a smaller place and I have a Pound-o-Dice just three days after ordering it, thanks to a UK based importer. At £17 for 90 odd dice, it’s pretty good value for money as well.

So, what did I get in my Pound-o-Dice?

  • 14 d4s
  • 11 d6s with numerals
  • 26 d6s with spots
  • 7 mini d6s
  • 6 d8s
  • 4 d12s
  • 30 d10s
  • 5 d%
  • 11 d20s

Since the two games I’m playing just now use d6s and d10s, this is particularly useful since I can retire dice which cause me grief much more easily. A few dice are clearly damaged, in particular, the d4s with have strange paint streaks on them and one of the d20s, which has broken points, with the rest of the dice in perfect condition.

I’d certainly consider buying another Pound-o-Dice, but given I now have in the region of 175 dice, I’m not sure I’ll need to buy any more any time soon.

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